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Friday, June 13, 2014

Time Freeze

   I'm almost certain that the times when heaven is nearest are the times when I'm rocking my baby in the dark in the middle of the night. 
   I sleep train my kids so they don't need me rocking them to fall asleep... but lately, in the last month or so, if Violet wakes up because she is teething I will go in and give her some infant Tylenol and rock her. As I stare at her sweet little face in the dark I am so overcome by my love for this baby that it's all I can do to not cry. I can see the shadowy circles of her eyes looking into my face as her eyelids droop and she falls back asleep. I know that in these moments she is sure of how completely loved and safe she is as we rock back and forth, back and forth. It's as if I'm given a pause button for a few minutes from the speedy first year of her life that is flying by. I stare hard at the silhouette of her face and will that this moment would be imprinted upon my heart forever... Has 10 months really almost come and gone? I felt like she would never sleep through the night or never take a bottle, but now she does. She turns one in two months. My baby. 
   I love everything about her. I think 7-10 months is my favorite baby stage. Alert and responsive, yet still not mobile (at least my kids aren't yet). I love how she flaps her arms when she gets excited. I love how she watches Theo and is so mesmerized by his every move. I love that she wakes up happy. I love that I can now fit a tuff of her little hair in a pig tail.. 
   But most of all I love those sweet unanticipated moments when one of my kids needs me and I get to just hold them, to smell the tops of their little heads, to kiss their plump chubby cheeks, and hold them tight against my heart reassuring them that everything will be ok because I will not leave them alone. I am their constant.

Not a great pic, but I just love how this captures her little cheeks and lips... was taken during a late night rocking session


nothing like a sleeping baby....
and again...

big almost 10 month old! (first poney tail!)

 

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