Sometime, from the outside it can seem like certain people have it all together. In this world of social media and artificial relationships we can feel like we are alone in the fact that we have struggles or encounter trials.
Lately, I find myself aware of how important it is to "share your journey" with others because the hard work of life often is much less celebrated and documented in our culture. I have been thinking about Paul and my lives the last few years and to be honest: it is not anything like we would have anticipated it would be at the beginning of those years.
You see, we decided to take a risk and not follow the typical trajectory of marriage, house, stability, and then babies (although there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that- and believe me, there have been times the last two years when we scratched our heads and wondered if we had made a mistake in pursuing a different path). Three years into marriage, we rid ourselves of all our possessions and took one car 1600 miles across the country to attend ministry school together (that was almost 3 years ago!). We had saved really hard and lived with my parents for several months leading up to the move so we could take an adventure. We moved without jobs, housing, or knowing anyone. But guess what? We have the best year of our lives. So much growth, excitement, and fun. Plus who doesn't love California?!
But then we came home... with a baby, no money, and a lot of dreams of what the following years would look like for us. We had a pretty good idea what the Lord had called us to, but weren't entirely sure how we would make it happen. Paul got job, we ministered on the side, and worked hard to hold fast to the amazing beliefs and gifts we now carried from our year away.
But guess what? Life was hard. We lived with my parents for an entire year (that part actually was really fun... I will blog about it sometime), we still had only one car (and up until a few weeks ago still only had one car) and no money to fall back on since we spent our savings to be able and attend Bethel. Paul wasn't doing his dream job and yet, we felt we had clear direction with every decision we made. Things seemed to take twice as long for us as they did those around us and every month we battled to not sink emotionally that yet another month had passed without Paul living in passion and vision.
We love the prophetic. This is where we come alive and love to use this gift to help others see what incredible plans God has for their lives. With our own lives however, we knew what we felt we were supposed to do, but it seemed as if there was a pause button on our destiny. Honestly, we needed God to open clear doors for us to help us find our fit.
A little before Thanksgiving, one of Paul's good friends from church spoke with him about coming to work for his home building company as the VP of Sales. We felt truly excited about this opportunity that had come almost two years since being home. Working in a successful, Christian-owned company was a dream come true for Paul and we knew that there is much potential.
This is our breakthrough. But what about the two years that led up to it? Is that part of our story something that should even be shared? I believe it should.
Everyone, EVERYONE, is on a journey. Whether you believe in God or not, your life is telling a story and inviting other people into your hardships and struggles in not a sign of weakness, but rather strength. Those two difficult years have taught me that my roots and character are much more important that worldly success and "accomplishing my dreams." Paul and I have talked much about how we want who we are on the inside to be bigger than what people see on the outside. We are imperfect, fall short, have made mistakes, felt discouraged, but we clung to the promise that God is good. We chose to believe the promises that had been spoken over our lives even when our circumstances were screaming the opposite.
I know now that God wastes nothing. There is no experience that cannot become an asset for his plan. Even working two years while feeling that 'pause button' has translated into tools that we use now in ministry and Paul's job. You see Isaiah 55:8-9 says " 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" God knows. His plan is best. But it's ok to have struggles along the way.
Here is an excerpt from my journal about why it is so important to share your journey:
-opens you up to receive love and support from community
-allows others who have walked the same road to strengthen you
-when you are on the other side of your mountain it will give people hope that they too can overcome their own mountains
-keeps us relatable and grounded
-allows the Lord to heal our pain
-gives Jesus glory
-invites others to share their own stories
-gives others the opportunity to respond well to what you share
Now not everyone needs to start a blog or post their struggles all over the internet, but it is important to share with someone around you. The highs and lows of life were not meant to be experienced alone. Be brave. Know you're not alone.
Showing posts with label spiritual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spiritual. Show all posts
Friday, June 13, 2014
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Supernatural Childbirth
I've been hesitant to post about this book that I read throughout my pregnancy with Theo. I know many women who have had bad labor stories and don't want to seem like I'm being insensitive to what they went through, but I feel like "Supernatural Childbirth" was SUCH a blessing to me that I want other people to know about it! Please hear my heart as you read this because I'm just putting it out there and you can take from it what you want :) I found it in the bookstore here at Bethel and you can get it on Amazon.. I wanted to experience having my own baby before blogging about SC.
The whole premise of "Supernatural Childbirth" is believing the Lord for what He has already accomplished on the cross- freedom from the curse (especially the one about pain in childbirth). The book has many testimonies of women who experienced no pain- yes, you read that right- no pain during their labor and delivery. Jackie also leads you through the biblical grounds for a supernatural childbirth and backs it up with scriptures to meditate on. It was enlightening to read because I didn't know that a pain-free childbirth was something I could pray for! The author herself had 3 painless labor and deliveries and she wasn't even medically supposed to be able to have children. There are a list of prayers and declarations enclosed in the back that you read leading up to having your baby. It's a wonderful tool that helps cultivate a positive, faith-filled mindset. Bottom line: the book helps take away fear associated with birth.
So my story: I wrote about Theo's birth last month and you can read about it on this blog (under February 2012 posts) for more complete details, but I had an AMAZING first birth. Was it pain-free? No. Was it significantly better than it would have been had I not read the book? ABSOLUTELY! First off, I have a major issue with needles, IVs, pain, and hospitals in general. I literally pass out cold EVERY single time I get a blood draw. As a matter of fact, getting my IV in the hospital was a bigger issue to me than the actual labor and delivery. So when the time came, Paul held my hand, we spoke to my body and believed for supernatural peace and grace to handle it... and guess what?!? I didn't pass out, wasn't queasy, nothing! That was the first aspect of my labor that was so wonderful.
Another answer to prayer was that I went into labor on my own (something I had really been desiring). When we checked into the hospital Sunday night (the night before I was to be induced) I was already in labor! My water broke naturally and even though I was given Pitocin, it was just standard procedure to speed along labor- not because I wasn't progressing.. that brings me to my next point- I progressed rapidly. Every time my nurse checked me she had good news! This was a point I had prayed into throughout my pregnancy that I would have a quick labor. From the time my water broke until I held Theo in my arms it was 13 hours... which I was pleased with.
Theo was a big baby for me- almost 9 lbs (so glad I didn't know that before hand!!!) and I had no tearing or stitches- I was told after the fact that this in of itself is supernatural! Part of that I attribute to having an amazing nurse who knew what she was doing, but I had prayed and spoke life over my body for months- believing that it was made to have babies and knew how to stretch and change without injuring me.
Finally, I just want to acknowledge that EVERY birth is different and hope that sharing this doesn't cause anyone to compare their experience or think a difficult childbirth is due to a lack of faith- so not the case! My only goal is to give you a vision that bringing babies into the world doesn't have to be like what you see on TV. You can have a peaceful, joyful experience- I did! That is my favorite part of my birth story- there was such an amazing atmosphere of the Lord's presence and I never would have thought I could feel this way while pushing out a baby ;)
So if you're curious, get the book, if you think I'm nuts, still get the book and let me know what you think! I would so LOVE to know other women who are reading it and believing for awesome childbirths (so I can pray for you and hear your stories)!!! I'm anticipating progressively better births which each child we have.. I've even started praying for our future children's entry into this world now.
The whole premise of "Supernatural Childbirth" is believing the Lord for what He has already accomplished on the cross- freedom from the curse (especially the one about pain in childbirth). The book has many testimonies of women who experienced no pain- yes, you read that right- no pain during their labor and delivery. Jackie also leads you through the biblical grounds for a supernatural childbirth and backs it up with scriptures to meditate on. It was enlightening to read because I didn't know that a pain-free childbirth was something I could pray for! The author herself had 3 painless labor and deliveries and she wasn't even medically supposed to be able to have children. There are a list of prayers and declarations enclosed in the back that you read leading up to having your baby. It's a wonderful tool that helps cultivate a positive, faith-filled mindset. Bottom line: the book helps take away fear associated with birth.
So my story: I wrote about Theo's birth last month and you can read about it on this blog (under February 2012 posts) for more complete details, but I had an AMAZING first birth. Was it pain-free? No. Was it significantly better than it would have been had I not read the book? ABSOLUTELY! First off, I have a major issue with needles, IVs, pain, and hospitals in general. I literally pass out cold EVERY single time I get a blood draw. As a matter of fact, getting my IV in the hospital was a bigger issue to me than the actual labor and delivery. So when the time came, Paul held my hand, we spoke to my body and believed for supernatural peace and grace to handle it... and guess what?!? I didn't pass out, wasn't queasy, nothing! That was the first aspect of my labor that was so wonderful.
Another answer to prayer was that I went into labor on my own (something I had really been desiring). When we checked into the hospital Sunday night (the night before I was to be induced) I was already in labor! My water broke naturally and even though I was given Pitocin, it was just standard procedure to speed along labor- not because I wasn't progressing.. that brings me to my next point- I progressed rapidly. Every time my nurse checked me she had good news! This was a point I had prayed into throughout my pregnancy that I would have a quick labor. From the time my water broke until I held Theo in my arms it was 13 hours... which I was pleased with.
Theo was a big baby for me- almost 9 lbs (so glad I didn't know that before hand!!!) and I had no tearing or stitches- I was told after the fact that this in of itself is supernatural! Part of that I attribute to having an amazing nurse who knew what she was doing, but I had prayed and spoke life over my body for months- believing that it was made to have babies and knew how to stretch and change without injuring me.
Finally, I just want to acknowledge that EVERY birth is different and hope that sharing this doesn't cause anyone to compare their experience or think a difficult childbirth is due to a lack of faith- so not the case! My only goal is to give you a vision that bringing babies into the world doesn't have to be like what you see on TV. You can have a peaceful, joyful experience- I did! That is my favorite part of my birth story- there was such an amazing atmosphere of the Lord's presence and I never would have thought I could feel this way while pushing out a baby ;)
So if you're curious, get the book, if you think I'm nuts, still get the book and let me know what you think! I would so LOVE to know other women who are reading it and believing for awesome childbirths (so I can pray for you and hear your stories)!!! I'm anticipating progressively better births which each child we have.. I've even started praying for our future children's entry into this world now.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Theo Judah Lanphier
So mind-boggling to see that the last post I made baby Theo was still in my tummy (the 40 week pics)! I really love reading people's birth stories so just stop here if you don't. I don't want to scar anyone with graphic birth details/pics ;)
As I wrote before, I was scheduled to go into the hospital Sunday night and then they would start me on Pitocin Monday morning. My mom literally got into Redding from Sacramento at about 6 pm and my brother Turner and her came up to the hospital for moral support. I am convinced that Theo literally waited until his 'Nonnie' was present before even thinking about being born!
7 pm I was hooked up to the monitor and our nurse was surprised to find I was having regular contractions 5 minutes apart- I couldn't even feel them! I was thrilled because we had been praying that I would go into labor naturally- I really wanted that experience. My mom and brother left for the night and Paul and I tried to get some sleep- 'tried' because at 2:30 am my water broke and let me just discreetly say that: that was an experience! As my contractions got stronger they gave me something through my IV for pain, so I was a little buzzed. Also, no one tells you that your water breaking can continue for an extended period of time. I may or may not have told Paul through some tears that I felt like a 'juice box' !?! Yes, I am very sensitive to narcotics. I was evidently pretty upset with the levels of fluids they were shooting into me as well because it was revealed to me that I also confided in Paul that there was a hospital conspiracy to make pregnant women look 'puffy' when they were giving birth. I do remember Paul nodding sympathetically and asking if we could discuss it later... It must have not been a pressing issue to me because it didn't come back up.
So from 2:30 am until 9:30 am I rode out the contractions with no longer than 3 minute intervals of rest and was getting really worn down. Also, my Dr. had them put me on Pitocin at 6 am even though I was in labor to speed up the process. The pain was manageable and I was progressing quickly (for a first time mom), but decided at 9:30 am to get the epidural and I thank the Lord above for modern medicine. It was as if liquid gold was poured into my back and I gave our anesthesiologist a fond nick-name "the candy man." For the rest of the morning and until lunch time I rested and enjoyed my family. Paul, my mom, and brother Turner spent the whole day with me. We listened to worship music, they ate (I had broth), and talked together. I literally felt like there was a blanket of peace in the room and just was so excited about meeting my baby. If you know me, this is a big deal since I HATE hospitals, needles, and PAIN with a FIERCE FIERCE PASSION.
Our nurse that day was excellent. Pam had a very dry sense of humor and was very type A personality, but she knew her stuff. She had been a labor and delivery nurse for 27 years and worked 3 shifts at the hospital and also taught at the nursing school. It was crazy how she predicted the timing of my progressions so accurately.
Finally, at 2:30 pm I was at 10 cm dilated and it was time to push. We decided that Turner (my 19 year old bro) would stand waaaaaaaay far up by my head to take pics and record while my mom and hubby stayed at my side. Turner has since said that being present for Theo's birth was the best experience of his life. I pushed for 1 hour and by 3:29 they were saying "look down! here he comes!" Let me just say that there is absolutely nothing in the entire world that could prepare me for seeing my baby for the first time. As the doctor grabbed him and held him up I started weeping with such an intense flood of love that I felt like my heart was going to explode. It was the single greatest moment of my entire life. We all cried, but I cried the hardest. I cried because my son was perfect, I cried because he was safely in my arms, I cried because it was so special to have my family there, and I also cried because I was so darn happy I had gotten an epidural and didn't have to feel a nearly 9 lb baby come out of me (and not to brag, but no stitches were needed).
Like I said, having my mom and brother there was amazing because it feels like you can never describe how wonderful a moment like that was. It's nice to know that with them we don't have to try- they were experiencing it right alongside us!
If you have been following my pregnancy post on this blog you will know that we didn't have a name picked out- and we weren't lying! We really and truly did not decide on 'Theo' until about an hour after he was born. Paul was very adamant that we name him quickly so he didn't feel like he "had no identity" ;) We had 3 options we really liked, but when Theo came we knew what his name should be. I'm not going to lie to you, "Theo" is not his full name. His birth certificate reads "Theophilus Judah Lanphier." Theophilus is referred to in the gospels and means "loved by God," "friend of God," and "lover of God" depending on which book you look at (not a bad set of meanings though right!?!) However, we don't want him made fun of on his first day of school and so he will go by Theo ;). Judah his middle name, means "praise" and also refers to the biblical reference of the "lion of the tribe of Judah." My brother Turner asked Paul and I over the summer if we liked the name Theophilus when we heard it mentioned at school one day (Bethel). The funny thing is a few days later my dad was preaching to his youth group out of the book of Luke and came across the name and jokingly told everyone "Theophilus will probably be my grandson's name." He had no clue that we were actually considering it! I do think he came out looking like a Theo though:
One of my favorite things about being a parents is that I get to do it with Paul. My mom has commented so many times how calm and patient he is with me (I was freaking out the first night home about Theo not getting enough to eat). Paul is such a natural with Theo (and me ;) )and constantly wanting to hold him and love on him. It is so fun to hear all the things he say to Theo. We already have a million more nicknames for him too. We are absolutely obsessed and have had more than one moment crying together because we can't believe how much we love we feel for him... it's literally almost scary. So now this blog has added on a new Lanphier... there are officially 3 "Lanphiers Remembering" from now on...
As I wrote before, I was scheduled to go into the hospital Sunday night and then they would start me on Pitocin Monday morning. My mom literally got into Redding from Sacramento at about 6 pm and my brother Turner and her came up to the hospital for moral support. I am convinced that Theo literally waited until his 'Nonnie' was present before even thinking about being born!
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| Checked in. |
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| Happily not feeling any contractions at this point... |
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| Feeling the burn |
Our nurse that day was excellent. Pam had a very dry sense of humor and was very type A personality, but she knew her stuff. She had been a labor and delivery nurse for 27 years and worked 3 shifts at the hospital and also taught at the nursing school. It was crazy how she predicted the timing of my progressions so accurately.
Finally, at 2:30 pm I was at 10 cm dilated and it was time to push. We decided that Turner (my 19 year old bro) would stand waaaaaaaay far up by my head to take pics and record while my mom and hubby stayed at my side. Turner has since said that being present for Theo's birth was the best experience of his life. I pushed for 1 hour and by 3:29 they were saying "look down! here he comes!" Let me just say that there is absolutely nothing in the entire world that could prepare me for seeing my baby for the first time. As the doctor grabbed him and held him up I started weeping with such an intense flood of love that I felt like my heart was going to explode. It was the single greatest moment of my entire life. We all cried, but I cried the hardest. I cried because my son was perfect, I cried because he was safely in my arms, I cried because it was so special to have my family there, and I also cried because I was so darn happy I had gotten an epidural and didn't have to feel a nearly 9 lb baby come out of me (and not to brag, but no stitches were needed).
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| Almost there... |
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| Here he is!! |
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| No words! |
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| So in love. |
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| This was the sweetest thing... EVER! |
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| Theo meet Nonnie! |
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| Theo meet Uncle Turney! |
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| Baby Theo not a happy camper. |
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| Theo. Born 2/20/12 at 3:29 pm 8 lbs 7.7 oz 21 inches |
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Current Reads: 5
So I've realized that I haven't put my reading list up since last May! I thought I'd put up all the books we are reading for school out here at Bethel- they've all been so amazing...
If any of you are interested in knowing more please let me know... So far my favorite book has been "Culture of Honor" by Danny Silk (last book pictured). I've started reading it again because it has impacted me so much. Paul's favorite has been "Supernatural Ways of Royalty" by Kris Vallotton.
If any of you are interested in knowing more please let me know... So far my favorite book has been "Culture of Honor" by Danny Silk (last book pictured). I've started reading it again because it has impacted me so much. Paul's favorite has been "Supernatural Ways of Royalty" by Kris Vallotton.
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| This is a workbook that we've done along with the book above. |
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| This is also a workbook that accompanied our week of training on the prohetic back in October. |
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