New Mommy

   Nothing makes you feel like life is speeding by quite like giving birth to new life. I feel like it was just yesterday I was standing at the top of the stairs in my childhood home hearing my dad tell my 9 year-old self that my time living at home was half over. I cried because my childhood seemed to slipping away. Now here I am 24 years old, married, and with a beautiful, perfect son. My childhood has ended, but his has only just begun!
   The first three weeks of Theo's life has been a mixture of laughter, tears, joys, and firsts. Week one was just trying to get used to having a newborn and making sure I kept him alive! Being at his beck and call seemed to be all I did (and it still does at times). I can't even begin to tell describe how grateful I am for my mom. She truly helped me make the transition to motherhood with my sanity in-tact. She cleaned, cooked, did laundry, held Theo while I napped, bought us groceries, went to Dr.'s appointments with me and assured me that I wouldn't feel like a baby feeding machine for the rest of my life. Becoming a mother has made me need my mom more than I have in years. I so respect my mom and so many people tell me she is the best mother and wife they know. She is who I get to learn from! She is #3 on my speed dial. It goes #1- voice mail box #2- Paul #3-MOM! 
   Having my dad come out the 2nd week was so special! I video taped him meeting Theo and as you might have suspected there were lots of tears!!!

my amazing dad with Theo!

Nonnie!! the best woman EVER!

  Saying good-bye to my parents was honestly the worst... Since we don't know where we will be living after ministry school in May we aren't sure when we will see them next. Luckily, Paul's parents arrived the same day that my parents left... I know what you are thinking, "could you possibly be excited to have your in-laws come?" to which I respond a resounding YES!! They are seriously the dream team. Like my parents, they bought us groceries, took us to eat, and held Theo so I could nap and take showers. Paul's mom even left money on the counter this morning so that I could get a pedicure this week (spoiled, aren't I??) They are the most low-maintanence guests ever and I loved having them around. I cried last night with Jean, my mother-in-law knowing they were going home today...

Meeting Nanna and Poppa

Talking with Nanna

Cuddles with Poppa

  As wonderful as having a baby is, I feel like my hormones are more crazy than when I was pregnant. I am ultra sensitive and cry very easily. Since quality time is my love language I have been feeling the effects of not having as much one-on-one time with Paul as I'm used to. We are taking Theo out this afternoon just the three of us for the first time and going to eat and spend some time as a family. We are both so in love with this little guy, but I'm definatly feeling the adjustment. My mom and mother-in-law have both assured me that the first few months are the hardest when you are breastfeeding and caring for a newborn. As you can imagine, I've cried because I'm sad he has already outgrown some of his newborn clothes and also cried because I get cabin fever if I don't leave the house for a day or two (I'm complicated I guess!) But one look at that little face below and it's all worth it! He already looks so big! :( / :)

that face!!!!!

burping baby Theo

where we spend most of our evening- the couch! he wants to eat all night!

   Theo seems to have blonde hair and blue eyes at this point... Say what?!?! Totally thought my Italian/Lebanese heritage would trump Paul's genes.... I wonder if people will even think he is my kid in the future.... hmmm. Well, Aunt Annie comes this week to meet her first/only nephew! We can't wait! Uncle Tyler comes later in the week too!

Theo Judah Lanphier

   So mind-boggling to see that the last post I made baby Theo was still in my tummy (the 40 week pics)! I really love reading people's birth stories so just stop here if you don't. I don't want to scar anyone with graphic birth details/pics ;)
   As I wrote before, I was scheduled to go into the hospital Sunday night and then they would start me on Pitocin Monday morning. My mom literally got into Redding from Sacramento at about 6 pm and my brother Turner and her came up to the hospital for moral support. I am convinced that Theo literally waited until his 'Nonnie' was present before even thinking about being born!

Checked in.

Happily not feeling any contractions at this point...

   7 pm I was hooked up to the monitor and our nurse was surprised to find I was having regular contractions 5 minutes apart- I couldn't even feel them! I was thrilled because we had been praying that I would go into labor naturally- I really wanted that experience. My mom and brother left for the night and Paul and I tried to get some sleep- 'tried' because at 2:30 am my water broke and let me just discreetly say that: that was an experience! As my contractions got stronger they gave me something through my IV for pain, so I was a little buzzed. Also, no one tells you that your water breaking can continue for an extended period of time. I may or may not have told Paul through some tears that I felt like a 'juice box' !?! Yes, I am very sensitive to narcotics. I was evidently pretty upset with the levels of fluids they were shooting into me as well because it was revealed to me that I also confided in Paul that there was a hospital conspiracy to make pregnant women look 'puffy' when they were giving birth. I do remember Paul nodding sympathetically and asking if we could discuss it later... It must have not been a pressing issue to me because it didn't come back up.

Feeling the burn

   So from 2:30 am until 9:30 am I rode out the contractions with no longer than 3 minute intervals of rest and was getting really worn down. Also, my Dr. had them put me on Pitocin at 6 am even though I was in labor to speed up the process. The pain was manageable and I was progressing quickly (for a first time mom), but decided at 9:30 am to get the epidural and I thank the Lord above for modern medicine. It was as if liquid gold was poured into my back and I gave our anesthesiologist a fond nick-name "the candy man." For the rest of the morning and until lunch time I rested and enjoyed my family. Paul, my mom, and brother Turner spent the whole day with me. We listened to worship music, they ate (I had broth), and talked together. I literally felt like there was a blanket of peace in the room and just was so excited about meeting my baby. If you know me, this is a big deal since I HATE hospitals, needles, and PAIN with a FIERCE FIERCE PASSION.
  Our nurse that day was excellent. Pam had a very dry sense of humor and was very type A personality, but she knew her stuff. She had been a labor and delivery nurse for 27 years and worked 3 shifts at the hospital and also taught at the nursing school. It was crazy how she predicted the timing of my progressions so accurately. 
   Finally, at 2:30 pm I was at 10 cm dilated and it was time to push. We decided that Turner (my 19 year old bro) would stand waaaaaaaay far up by my head to take pics and record while my mom and hubby stayed at my side. Turner has since said that being present for Theo's birth was the best experience of his life. I pushed for 1 hour and by 3:29 they were saying "look down! here he comes!" Let me just say that there is absolutely nothing in the entire world that could prepare me for seeing my baby for the first time. As the doctor grabbed him and held him up I started weeping with such an intense flood of love that I felt like my heart was going to explode. It was the single greatest moment of my entire life. We all cried, but I cried the hardest. I cried because my son was perfect, I cried because he was safely in my arms, I cried because it was so special to have my family there, and I also cried because I was so darn happy I had gotten an epidural and didn't have to feel a nearly 9 lb baby come out of me (and not to brag, but no stitches were needed).

Almost there...

Here he is!!

No words!

So in love.

This was the sweetest thing... EVER!

    Like I said, having my mom and brother there was amazing because it feels like you can never describe how wonderful a moment like that was. It's nice to know that with them we don't have to try- they were experiencing it right alongside us!

Theo meet Nonnie!

Theo meet Uncle Turney!

   If you have been following my pregnancy post on this blog you will know that we didn't have a name picked out- and we weren't lying! We really and truly did not decide on 'Theo' until about an hour after he was born. Paul was very adamant that we name him quickly so he didn't feel like he "had no identity" ;) We had 3 options we really liked, but when Theo came we knew what his name should be. I'm not going to lie to you, "Theo" is not his full name. His birth certificate reads "Theophilus Judah Lanphier." Theophilus is referred to in the gospels and means "loved by God," "friend of God," and "lover of God" depending on which book you look at (not a bad set of meanings though right!?!) However, we don't want him made fun of on his first day of school and so he will go by Theo ;). Judah his middle name, means "praise" and also refers to the biblical reference of the "lion of the tribe of Judah." My brother Turner asked Paul and I over the summer if we liked the name Theophilus when we heard it mentioned at school one day (Bethel). The funny thing is a few days later my dad was preaching to his youth group out of the book of Luke and came across the name and jokingly told everyone "Theophilus will probably be my grandson's name." He had no clue that we were actually considering it! I do think he came out looking like a Theo though:

Baby Theo not a happy camper.

   One of my favorite things about being a parents is that I get to do it with Paul. My mom has commented so many times how calm and patient he is with me (I was freaking out the first night home about Theo not getting enough to eat). Paul is such a natural with Theo (and me ;) )and constantly wanting to hold him and love on him. It is so fun to hear all the things he say to Theo. We already have a million more nicknames for him too. We are absolutely obsessed and have had more than one moment crying together because we can't believe how much we love we feel for him... it's literally almost scary. So now this blog has added on a new Lanphier... there are officially 3 "Lanphiers Remembering" from now on...

Theo. Born 2/20/12 at 3:29 pm 8 lbs 7.7 oz 21 inches

40 Weeks and a little honesty...

   It is here! The 40 week mark and no baby, no dilating, no contractions, no nothing (double negative)!!! I am so 'over' being pregnant and took the day to feel sorry for myself and go shopping with some money my wonderful sister-in-laws sent me... I did some serious damage in the clearance aisle of TJ Max...

   I'm going to be honest here because 1) I think it's funny 2) I want to remember this and 3) you can probably relate (or at least may be able to in the future) if you are a girl. As I was getting ready this morning I found some stretch marks on my tummy... or at least the start of some. I was none-too-pleased, but reminded myself that I love my body unconditionally and took a deep breath. I told myself that I won't even care in a few days when I'm holding my beautiful baby. BUT lets get real: I commanded them to disappear and prayed fervently they would... Maybe my prayers worked because I tried to show them to Paul and he couldn't see them and looked at me like I'm a crazy person (it was bad lighting I insisted). If you feel like punching me right now over my vanity cut me some slack because 1) I am hormonal 2) I'm officially OVER my due date and 3) I wouldn't judge you for being upset if the same thing happened to you. That being said, I was a little irritable when Paul picked me up for my Dr. appointment. It also didn't help that he was trying to drive and eat a massive, messy sandwich at the same time. I was so grossed out that I demanded he pull the car over before we had even gone a block and I made him let me drive.

  I am seriously a good driver- well, decent driver, but I admit that I should not try and vent and drive at the same time. I was telling Paul about my said stretch marks, and then getting even MORE irritated when I decided he wasn't showing me enough sympathy (to be fair, we have had a few 'false alarms' when it comes to stretch marks). Finally, I gave it to him straight and said, "please! just for today agree with everything I say even if you secretly don't." He nodded sympathetically (maybe he was too afraid to talk at that point).  To be honest, I don't even feel bad about this dysfunctional pregnancy day... I am not perfect and I want the world to know (that's a bit of an over-statement, but whatev). However, feel free to put us on your prayer list the next few days...

  Getting back down to business, I have ANOTHER appointment Friday to make sure the little guy's heartbeat is still looking good and then Dr. S said he would like to induce me Monday morning if nothing has happened. This is bittersweet since 1) I have had my heart set on going into labor 2) I feel cheated that at full-term no progression has been made and 3) seriously?! couldn't he have let me believe I dilated 1 cm just to make me feel better?!?! The upside is my mom is flying in this weekend and it will be really special to have her here for her first grandchild's birth... 
   And for the record: No, we don't have his name picked out and yes, I realize I look even bigger than I did yesterday (I get told this on a daily basis). ;)

Approaching Motherhood

   I know this has nothing to do with being a mom, but I have to say I love my small group! I felt so encouraged and excited to be a mom after they prayed over me tonight. I am the first one to actually have a baby, but they are so supportive and have been cheering me on.
  I just wanted to write about how much I'm looking forward to being a mom. Many people have been asking me if I'm nervous or afraid, but honestly- I just can't wait! I think about how many kids I've had the honor of spending time with over the years and I enjoyed every moment. Every zoo trip, every craft, every episode of Bob the Builder or Veggie Tails we've watched together has been special (even if they were so over-played I could lip-sync them). 
   Now I get to create a whole childhood experience for Paul's and my child. I get to mold his little outlook on life, God, love, and family. I don't know what I'm doing exactly, but I feel ready to do it (if that's even possible). I am already imagining how I will teach Puffin about who he is from a young age. He will not have to unlearn religious mindsets or rules because we will be showing him (imperfectly-I'm sure) how to live out of love and not law. I want him to feel so empowered to be strong and confident in who he is. He will have a special quality about him- I know this because I've carried him below my heart for 9 months. He has been with Paul and me every step of the way as we have transformed into who we were made to be. This year has not only been impactful for us as a couple, but also for our son as well. I am absoulutly sure he has benefited from our time at Bethel even while being in the womb.
   I cannot wait for the first moment I see him and hold him. It is the start of a new world, a new opportunity, a new way for God to unleash a piece of His glory on the earth through life. I love that this is also the beginning of a new chapter for my family. Having this baby makes my parents grandparents and adds grandbaby #4 to Paul's side. We have had such amazing models of parenthood and it will be so fun to find our own unique style and ways of raising our baby. I'm so excited to see myself as a mom, Paul as a dad, my parents become grandparents and my siblings to become uncles/aunts :)
   The world is ready little baby.... we hope you are too...
  

39 Weeks

   39 weeks... my due date is exactly one week from today! So far there is really nothing to report (which I would have thought would bum me out, but I'm not miserable being pregnant so it's not a big deal). I am trying to enjoy the last few days (or weeks) of having Puffin in my tummy and going out on dates with Paul. Tonight we are headed to a ridiculously unhealthy restaurant where I'm getting a chicken basket and fries. Who knows how many more times we will do this just the two of us!?! Once baby is born, my parents are flying out followed by Paul's parents and then some of my siblings-so it will be a busy, wonderful time. This is the calm before the storm of babyland... and I shouldn't say storm because it will be so wonderful...

   My doctor (ever the encourager) had some more pearls of wisdom for me. He told me, "I think God makes the last few weeks of pregnancy so miserable that women actually are willing to go through the excruciating pain of labor." Hmmm.... Also from doc: "The best thing about labor is the epidural." Again, hmmmmmm... hopefully the best thing about my labor is having a baby!
  I do love to remember his funny quotes, but in all truthfulness, he is a great doctor and I'm sure there is a reason he is mine!
  Right now, I feel ready. Can't wait to meet our sweet baby. We got our rocking chair this week which was the final thing I absolutely 'needed' before he comes. I wonder how many more preggo posts I'll make on this blog... this could be the last one...

Current Reads: 5

   So I've realized that I haven't put my reading list up since last May! I thought I'd put up all the books we are reading for school out here at Bethel- they've all been so amazing...
   If any of you are interested in knowing more please let me know... So far my favorite book has been "Culture of Honor" by Danny Silk (last book pictured). I've started reading it again because it has impacted me so much. Paul's favorite has been "Supernatural Ways of Royalty" by Kris Vallotton.

This is a workbook that we've done along with the book above.

This is also a workbook that accompanied our week of training on the prohetic back in October.

38 Weeks

   Is this picture above not the GREATEST picture of ALL TIME?!?!?! This is my parents 38 weeks pregnant with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See that flowered pillow case behind them? It kinda looks like green poka dots... they still have that (maybe I know what to get them for Chirstmas this year ;))

   I just cannot get over how crazy it is to see me in the womb and below are pics of me 38 weeks preggo with Baby L. :) Boggles the mind-Love it!

    Not much to report again this week. Nothing happening... just waiting and happy and excited and nervous all at the same time. Mostly I just feel love. I love love.