I can't believe I'm posting about a breast pump...

   So you know that moment when you are at Target and start tearing up because they won't honor the online price for the $300 breast pump you are trying to buy? Yes, I had that moment today when after 2 days of trying to buy a pump on both Target and Babies R Us's websites (to no avail... our PayPal account was malfunctioning) I said "screw this" and marched off to Target to buy the said pump because it was advertised on sale for $255 online. So you can see why I was a little peeped that they were making me pay the $300 for an item that I don't want but desperately need for my sanity. As the tears reveal, I've been a tad emotional the last month and just need to have the option of packing a bottle so I can leave the house with my baby for more than 2 hours without trying to find a place to privately feed him... you moms know where I'm coming from. I called my mom at Target (Paul wasn't answering his phone) and she said to just buy it and I could always return it if Paul wanted us to save the $50. So I did. I bought it and then got home and started crying- yes, full-blown crying because of my breast pump ordeal... Paul wisely said I should forget ordering online and use the sucker el pronto!
   The emotions are a mixture of many things: I think I miss my mom. I feel sad my sister is leaving and wonder how Theo and I will do home alone together all day (with no help). Having a full month of company has made my little sweetie awfully used to being held non-stop.. I only get anything done (shower included) when he is sleeping. The next few weeks could be a major adjustment and I am a sucker... crying it out? yea right... I've done that once and it lasted all of 5 minutes. Being a stay-at-home mom is such a gift, but not living close to our families is just hard :(. Also difficult is not knowing where we will be in May after school is finished. We are praying we have direction soon. Until then I will continue to forge through the new ground of motherhood. This little sweetie sure makes it worth it!